Wokka Wokka Wokka...And other such nonsense.

I am blessed to hang out twice a month with a group of friends I like to call The Maple Mountain Writers Guild. (Really I don't like to call them that--it's just our official title). A week or so ago, someone from this group blogged about how everyone in the world could be compared to a Winnie the Pooh character. It's amazing, and she was totally right! However, I'm not a Pooh Bear kind of person. The Muppets are so much more my style. So I started thinking . . . which muppets character would each person in our group be? Here is my list, in no particular order.

Me: Statler and Waldorf

For those who don't know, Statler and Waldorf are the two old men who sit in the balcony of the Muppet Show and basically rip on everyone and everything in site. Their sarcasm and use of puns is unparalleled. Though I try to be positive and uplifting, my brain just sees the world through sarcasm glasses. Plus, I laugh at my own jokes. I might as well get myself box seats at our next group meeting.

Lois: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

Like Dr. Honeydew, Lois is our resident researcher. She is fact driven and very good at looking at things in a logical way. Keep her up late at night though, and Lois is an entirely different person; wild, crazy, and hilarious. After midnight, a Mad Scientists bursts out. She hasn't blown us all up yet, but just knowing she has the power and smarts to, makes me a little scared. :-)

Amy: Scooter

Scooter is the stage hand who keeps all the muppets grounded. When we want to get off-track or a little crude (little being the operative word), Amy makes sure we remember who we are and why we do what we do. When other muppet characters start busting up the place, Scooter is the one that sets it all right again. That's what Amy does for us.

Tahsha: Miss Piggy

I know she is going to kill me for this one...but let me explain. I've never told anyone this, but I always wanted to be Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy is fashionable and commands attention. She is equal parts spunky and dramatic. No one takes the stage like Miss Piggy. That is our Tahsha. Fun, Hilarious, and totally beautiful. Also able to eat large amounts of food and remain toothpick thin. I just wish I could get her to use the word 'moi' more.

Ted: Gonzo

I chose this character as Ted for one reason only. Gonzo is all about the Chicks. He keeps hourds of them around and they all worship him and would do anything for him. Gonzo knows how to put on a show and sport a pimp-daddy hat. Yet there is something about him that is a little crazy and lovable. The funny thing is that Ted is the oldest member of our group--and also the most girl crazy. Go figure.

Reana: Janice

In case you're wondering, Janice is one of the few female characters on the muppets. She's the rocking guitar player in the Muppet Band. Part gypsy, part musician, part cool cat, Janice is the person you'd want to hang out with in a Jazz Club drinking Margaritas. Reana is just as cool as all that. And, like Janice, an air of mystery surrounds her.

Jo: Mixture of Rowlf the Dog and Animal

Depending on the time of night and the day of the week, you could get either one of these with Jo. Rowlf the Dog is the one all the muppets go to for advice and a listening ear, yet he is so talented, he can play pretty much anything. That's Jo. Totally talented literaturally (I just made up a new word), yet takes the roll of resident psychologist. However, get her going, and Jo can be a real animal. There's no stopping her at two in the morning.

James: Fozzie

Fozzie is the resident comedian. Sometimes his jokes are funny. He likes playing practical jokes on other muppets (though it doesn't usually work). But he is always lovable. When in a pinch, Fozzie can take the stage and tell jokes to his hearts delight. That is James. You aren't sure whether to pat his head, or throw a rotten tomato at him. Either way, the muppets, and writer's group, wouldn't be the same without him. Wokka, Wokka, Wokka

Jen: Kermit the Frog

Who doesn't love Kermit the Frog? You could ask any person on the planet what they think about Kermit and I don't think anyone would say, "Blegh, that green guy?" They would say 'I love him'. Jen is just as lovable. Yet what would the muppets be without Kermit? That's right. There would be no muppets. Jen pulls us together, sets us on track and does it all with a laugh and smile. It's disgusting (that's the Statler and Waldorf in me coming out).

I would say come and join the fun one day. It's as close to the Muppet Circus as you'll ever get. But. Alas for You. We are exclusive and snobbish and altogether too great for words. That is, if they let me come back after this merciless blog post.

I LOVE MMWG!