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Thursday, July 1, 2010

THAT Moment.

You know how sometimes you are just going about your day when suddenly something jumps right out at you and stops you in your tracks? I had that happen to me today.

This requires a little back-story. Forgive me if you've heard it.

About six months ago. Maybe November-ish. I went into to the doctor for a routine checkup. They took some blood work and found out that my blood platelet count was low (about half of what it should be). I wasn't worried. Platelets just, you know, make you scab and not bruise as easily. I went back a couple more times. Still low. They got worried. I totally didn't. They told me I needed to see a hematologist. I said, "okay, sure, whatever". NO BIG DEAL.

So they give me the address and the directions (because I totally suck at finding places when people just give me an address) and I head out.

I was a bit taken aback when I show up at the place and a large glass-plated sign reads across the door... "Huntsman Cancer Instititute". I walk inside to the waiting room with an open door to about eight people receiving chemotherapy.

CANCER? What the EFF? I think I seriously had an internal panic attack right at that moment. Cancer never occurred to me. What followed was a few months of giving blood and tests and ultrasounds and tests and more tests.

NOT Cancer. Whew. However, I did find out that I have a condition called ITP. Technical term- "You have low blood platelet counts and we can't figure out why."
Anyway, because of this, every so often I have to go and have my blood drawn and tested to be sure the counts don't stoop too low.

Fast forward to TODAY.

I go to my usual appointment. I'm grumpy and tired and annoyed and still a bit panicky. That stinking 'cancer' word always makes my heart accelerate. I wait. The doctor isn't there. (That is a whole other story--believe me.) So then I'm really annoyed. And I want to yell at somebody. But I don't.

As I turn around to leave, my eyes sweep the room and catch. There is a little old lady with a chemo drip in her arm. She's bald, frail, and tiny. She is also smiling. Smiling. I couldn't believe it. Then I glance to the side of the door and read the sign they have hanging there.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

That sign has been hanging in that office since I started going there. I've never noticed it before. I've heard the saying many times. It's never meant that much. But quite out of the blue. This lady and that sign meshed and made me stop to think. This cute, little old grandma. Who is probably dying. Was dancing in her own personal rain.

And I wasn't.

It got to me. You know? Right then and there I changed my attitude. AND I have a new, personal mantra...Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. Even when lightning strikes your house, or a huge wind blows away the brand new trampoline you just spent $500 on. You pick yourself up and you start dancing. WOW. I hope I don't forget that moment any time soon. I hope I remember to keep dancing. If someone with a storm raging as high as that little old lady can do it, I think I can too.

What about you? Have you ever had "One of THOSE moments?"

9 comments:

Lois D. Brown said...

Margie,

You know you're a writer when you make others have emotions they weren't planning on feeling--and you did that to me today. Thanks for your post.

Laura Marcella said...

Powerful post! I've heard that quote, too, but had forgotten it. Thanks for the reminder!

Kristina P. said...

I try to have a pretty good attitude.

I do think it's OK to have a little pity party when you are having a crappy day, because there will ALWAYS be someone who has it worse. But as long as you pick yourself up and move on, it's OK.

Jo Schaffer said...

Moments like this separate the humans from the jerks. (= Great insight.

L'Aussie said...

I love this post. Such a great philosophy. I was reading your comments re awards. I've just posted re anyone dropping by and picking up an award from my blog. I think you deserve the One Lovely Blog Award. Please collect..:)

Tamara said...

i have heard that quote, but loved the way you 'framed' it. i've had several moments like that in life and i'm thankful for each one.

Elana Johnson said...

Wow, this is powerful. Thanks for the reminder.

Lia Victoria said...

I've never heard that quote before, actually. I love it. Thanks!

The Empress said...

I need to read that today!!

I've been crying b/c the 2 neighbors across the street won't let my son play with their sons.

I know it's because we are hispanic, and they are not.

They don't say that, they just ask that my son stay on "his" side of the street. Yet, the two kids of theirs play with others on this side over here.

My son watches them play, and I cry.

Thank you for this. Don't know how I'll figure out how to dance in this rain..but I have to. I'm no good at a crying mom to him, am I?