What I've Written About

Monday, May 31, 2010

Just For Fun

Needed some down time, so I've been playing around at MyHeritage.com. They have this fun celebrity look alike collage. Pop on over there and play around with it. Good Luck! It changes with the picture you post. I'll cross my fingers you don't end up looking like Susan Boyle. :-)

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Monday, May 24, 2010

You Are What You Read...My Life in Books Blog Hop (AND DRAWING)

On Monday, I challenged everyone to come up with a life story...written in books you absolutely admired at each stage of your life. As I compiled my list, I had several moments of staring off, blissfully reminiscing great memories of each one. It has been so fun for me!
I hope you had as much fun as I did. Make sure to link up to the other comment makers, or the linky list and check out fellow bloggers 'Life Stories'. I realize my list may reveal a bit much about me. But what can a girl do? I am who I am. (Spoiler Alert on some of these)

Very First Book I Remember: Where the Red Fern Grows. My mom read it to my sister and I every night before bed. I was so little, I don't think I was even in school yet. But I still cried my eyes out when the dogs died at the end.

Preschool: Anything Dr. Seuss!Favorite Seuss? The Lorax (I think this is why I pretend to save the Planet now...but more on that at a later time.)

Grade School: Pippi Longstockings and Ramona Quimby all the way. I wanted to be like Pippi so much! Alas, I was more like the boring next door neighbor. I also admired Ramona and her bravery to try anything. I was so shy. I had to live vicariously through the characters in my books.

Middle School: Sunfire Romances. Please tell me someone else read these. I LOVED them. They aren't in print anymore, but I secretly bought gobs of them off of ebay as an adult. Basically, each book is a historical romance. The book was always titled the protag's (always a girl) name, and she would ALWAYS have to choose between two men. After reading these as an adult, they are actually very historically accurate. My favorite? Caroline (a book about a girl who dresses up like a boy to go to California during the Gold Rush and falls in love) *Insert sigh here. I so wanted to be a pioneer. I thought maybe my freckles would have been cool back then. :-) (haha. wishful thinking)

High School: There were three books I actually read over and over in high school.Mrs. Mike (a young girl falls in love and moves to the Canadian Wilderness where her life sucks royally, but she loves her man), A Lantern in Her Hand (once again, a young girl falls in love in the Old West. It follows her from childhood up until death. She always talks about wanting to stop the hands of time blowing away the years of her life. It had an impact on me. I kept thinking, I can't waste a single second), and Christy (the book of a young school teacher girl who goes to the Appalachian Wilderness to teach). I L-O-V-E-D these books. I still own them. The funny thing is, they were such a contrast to being on the dance team, listening to rap music, and wearing those skin tight shirts that buttoned at the crotch. Anyone else wear those?

College: Smutty Romance. I'm embarassed to admit it, but I read those books that refer to burning loins and pulsing members. Gasp. I can't believe I just admitted it. So embarrassing. However, these were also the years I discovered Jane Austen romance and Emily Dickinson poetry. I also loved The Room With a View and understood Romeo and Juliet for the first time. (Not that it made me like it. I hated it. How stupid that you have to kill yourself to prove you love someone. LAME!)

Being A Grown Up: I started out reading Jodi Picoult, Barbara Kingsolver, Sue Monk Kidd, James Patterson, John Grisham, and Dan Brown. I waited not-paiently for each new book to make its way on the book shelves and then devoured it. HOWEVER . . . being a grownup is so depressing and boring. So many "adult" books make you want to slit your wrists. I still love these authors and will buy one of their books occasionally, but I have completely turned to children's and YA.
Luckily, I teach elementary school, so I have great excuses for reading little kid stuff.
My favorite authors from these genres are Margaret Peterson Haddix, J.K. Rowling, Suzanne Collins, Avi, and Ridley Pearson.

Being a Mommy: Picture Books. How do I love thee? Nothing beats a great picture book. My family personally loves the 'Don't Let the Pigeon..." books, Anything David Shannon, The Pig and Elephant books (I think they actually have names, but we never use them.), Kat Kong, Bad Case of the Stripes, Skippy Jon Jones, and of course--Dr. Seuss.

Thus life comes full circle. From Seuss to Seuss.

Hopefully, one day I'll be able to add my own published books to this list. Until then, THANK YOU authors of the world for inspiring me to write!

I LOVE WORDS because of you! :-)

Now, go ahead and link up. All you need is a list and reason for choosing your favorites. PLUS...if you play and comment (following me would also be great!) You'll be entered into a drawing for a B&N Gift Card.

You have to click on the link to see the list...sorry. Still figuring out all this blogging stuff.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Life Story in Books--Blog Hop and Giveaway

A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me which book or author was my inspiration in my writing. My muse, so to speak. I stared at them, dumbfounded, and thought. . . Honestly? Like we all just stick to one voice or one type of writing and live/breathe it? I am a person who has loved books my whole life. How can I discriminate that love? BUT . . .
As I've pondered this thought, I've realized something. I can remember the periods of my life according to what I've read. Pathetic? A little. I had plenty of friends--AND I loved spending time with characters in books.
The whole idea has got me feeling kind of nostalgic. In an attempty to harness it, I've decided to write my life story . . . IN BOOKS. Kind of, a history in years of books I've loved.
However, waxing nostalgic is NO FUN when you do it all by yourself. So I'm turning this into a blog hop/share. On Friday, May 28th, I want everyone to post your life story in books. ie. what was your favorite book in 1st grade, 2nd, teenage years, adulthood before marriage, post-child, etc. (You get the idea.)What books shaped you into the person you are today?
Sign up now...and be entered into a drawing for a ten dollar barnes and noble gift card. Oh, and don't forget to push 'follow' when you link up. Thanks for playing! Please say you adored Pippi Longstockings in elementary school the way I did. :-)

ALSO: CHECK MY SITES TO VISIT (Top of other column) for a couple of other favorite blogs currently doing GIVEAWAYS!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Does This Manuscript Make My Butt Look Big?

There are several things I've learned since becoming a writer.
1. Sometimes less is more (usually most of the time).
2. Characters have more than just eyes and a face.
3. It's okay to break grammar/usage rules to get a point across.
4. Prologues are somehow a no-no (who knew?)
5. Just because a character is something doesn't mean they always have to act like it.
6. Your a** grows in congruence with your manuscript.

Yes, I said it. I swear that every page written adds another piece of cellulite to the butt and thighs.

Before I started writing, this was me:

After a year and half, this is me:

Okay, so neither one are actually ME. But you get the idea. I swear it is scientifically accurate. I wonder if I measured the height of all the pages I've written and compared it to the growth of my bedonkadonk if it would be in proportion? I might have to do that some time. (Add to list of experiments I'd like to try)

I guess my hang up with all of this is balance. I am a full time mom and I have a full time job. This writing thing is consuming every extra ounce of free time I possess. It's amazing to me, because I truly love writing, but a small part of me resents it for taking my life away. It has given me one more full time job. The only problem? I don't get paid for it.

All right--RANT OVER! Time to look on the bright side. Some things that I've realized since becoming a writer.

a) Running Sucks! I've forced myself to go out and do it for ten months now . . . and I HATE IT! It never gets easy. In fact, if it does get easy, you aren't trying hard enough. I finally have a reason to quit. I don't have time for it! Thanks manuscript for saving me on that one.

b) My kids can sleep just about anywhere. Really. I'm not lying. Since I began this journey into the world of words, I've found my kids in some really weird places. In front of the bathroom door, sticking out of my closet, in the corner between the bed and the dresser--Completely ASLEEP. I don't know how they do it, but it works for them and we're going with it.

c) Hardly anyone cares about writing, EXCEPT writers. Since I've come out of the "Writing Closet" and admitted that I dabble in novels, everyone asks me about it. However, not a freakin one really cares that I used this verb instead of that one, or made a character with a unique flaw. THEY DON'T CARE. And that's all good. That's what "Writing Friends" are for.

d) My brain does not work like the majority of people. I can't look at a person, a place, or a story in the newspaper without wondering what's behind it. That weird guy at Walmart who sings really loud to himself. Hmmm...I wonder what's up with him? Maybe he was kidnapped my aliens! That old building in my semi-new subdivision, why is it there? Perhaps a secret society meets there on the weekends! (You see what I'm saying) Every conversation overheard becomes a page in a book in my mind.
For most people this is called PSYCHO! To other writers? CREATIVE!

Yes, my rear might get larger until I figure out how to balance the creative juices and the nectar of life, but I can deal. Because I know someday, someone, somewhere is going to publish my book, and someday, someone, somewhere is going to read it. So until then, I'm going to pull up my size 50 pants proudly. Because. . .


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A Taste of 'The Deception Virus'... No pun intended.

I'm participating in a bloghop today at 'The Fiction Groupie' blog. (http://fictiongroupie.blogspot.com)

The goal is to take a section where the dialogue tells the story. I've chosen this section because it is probably the only semi-risque section in my entire manuscript. The rest of the novel is all action packed and conspiracy driven. Read at your own risk--I'm sure you'll never look at me the same way again. :-)ALSO, forgive the formatting, I'm posting this as quickly as possible.

A tear dripped from her eye and Zack wiped it away with his thumb. Being tired made her weepy. She hated it.
“It’s okay Lou. We’ll all help you. We’ve promised.” He grinned. “Believe me. I tried to get Jay to stay away, but he won’t.”
Lou self-consciously ran her free hand through her hair. “I bet you did. You guys don’t seem to like each other very much.”
“Can you blame us?”
Lou blushed, concentrating on their interlocked fingers.
“You have no idea how cute you are, do you?” Zack asked.
“Whatever.” Lou tried to pull her hand away, but Zack kept a firm grip.
He smiled. “Look at you. I’m never sure if you’re going to hug me or slap me.”
Lou smacked his arm.
“I guess that answers that question.” Zack chuckled, then went serious. “Serves me right, I guess. That’s what I get for liking a girl who is so unavailable.”
“Who says I’m unavailable?” Lou asked halfheartedly.
“You don’t want to know. It will only make you mad.”
Lou slapped him lightly again. “Tell me.”
Zack screwed up his face. “Shantelle.”
“You talked to Shantelle about me?” Lou covered her face with one hand. “That’s great. She must have given you an earful.” She peeked through her fingers. “Just out of curiosity, what did she say?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Zack rolled his eyes.
“If you don’t tell, I swear, I’ll beat you senseless.” Lou squeezed his fingers as tight as she could.
Zack snorted. “I’d like to see you try.”
Lou suddenly rushed at him. But he grabbed her arms and pinned them against her chest. She struggled, but he gently held her back. Lou tried a different tactic. She stopped moving altogether and went boneless, putting her full weight on top of him. That didn’t work either. He held her up like she weighed nothing.
“Okay, don’t tell me. I don’t care.” Lou conceded. She pulled away and sat back on the couch again.
Zack took her hand and shrugged. “She asked me out, and I told her no. She must have put two and two together, because that’s when she said, ‘If you’re thinking about Lyndsie Martin, don’t bother.’ And something else about you liking your friends as more than friends . . . or something.”
Lou’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, she said that, did she?”
“I didn’t believe her.” Zack’s blue eyes stared into hers. “Until I’ve been with you guys tonight.” He frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt like more of an outcast.”
“Please,” Lou said, “Isn’t that being a little dramatic.” Then she looked closer at him. A wrinkle formed between his eyes, his mouth turned down. Oh crap, he's being serious.
“Sorry. I didn’t realize it made you feel bad. We were just being us.” Though she felt forward for doing it, Lou reached out and put her hand on his cheek. Rough and warm.
Zack raised her other hand to his chest. His heart thumped beneath her fingers. He looked at her. “I’ve never had a friend like that. My family was so weird, people didn’t want to be my friend.”
“Sure.” Lou appraised him. “You’re just too hot. They were probably intimidated.”
Oh my heck, I just called him hot to his face.
Zack smiled. “So you think I’m cute?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well you just said I was hot. I’ll take it. I think that’s the only compliment you’ve ever given me.” He pulled Lou toward him.
Chickening out, Lou leaned her head lightly on his shoulder. “Read into it what you will. It was a slip of the tongue.” Did I just say tongue? An image popped into Lou’s head of her first kiss with Zack. The tension built, easing some of the hollowness left over from her dream.
Desperate to change the subject, Lou said, “So tell me more about you. Where did you grow up? What does your dad do?”
“It’s a boring story. We moved around a lot. Now he does factory work.”
“Wow, that’s quite a life story,” Lou said sarcastically. “I’m sure they’re making a documentary about it right now.”
“I don’t want to talk about me.” Zack’s voice was husky. It sounded almost like . . .
Lou looked at him to check if he was crying. He wasn’t, but she already knew what she wanted. Their eyes locked. Zack leaned his head downward and kissed her softly on the lips.
She couldn’t stop herself. Lou deepened the kiss. She clung to his t-shirt, her other arm circling behind his head. As the kiss lengthened, Zack cupped her face, and Lou moved so she was on top of him. His hands were everywhere.
This is a much better distraction than jumping.
Zack flattened her against him.
Way better.
Suddenly, Zack pulled away with a shocked look. He was breathing hard. “We should stop.”
“We should?” Lou caught her breath, her heart racing. Then the guilt came.
I’m getting it on when I should be concentrating on saving my parents.
“Yeah.” Zack pushed her back onto the couch and stood up. “I think it would be best.” He scratched his head and backed away, giving her a strange look she couldn’t read. He sat on the love seat again. “Besides, you’ll need your sleep if you’re going to figure anything out tomorrow. I don’t want to be the one responsible for keeping you up.”
The couch might as well have been an island in the middle of an empty sea.
Her throat constricted. She lay down on her side, facing the couch, and pulled the blanket over her. Tears pushed at the inside of her eyelids. She shoved her face into the brown leather and swallowed. “Will you catch the light? I can’t sleep with it on.”
“Sure.” Zack didn’t move for a minute. Finally, the light click off, engulfing the room in darkness once again.
Only then did she let the tears slip down, wetting her pillow.

Library Lounge Lizard

Found a great blog I will be following. Not only does it have some awesome book reviews, but I love the name! (because alliteration rocks!)

The author of the blog is having a contest right now, giving away free books, prize packs and more. I suggest you pop on over there and get registered.

Library Lounge Lizard: Contest Time...Happy 1st Blogiversary Library Lounge Lizard!

Monday, May 17, 2010

And the Winner Is...

Thanks to all who participated in the RECESS SUCKS contest. I had a hard time deciding whose story was the most horrific, or just plain funny. Every one had me laughing or gasping, alternately, which is a good thing. However, one stood out to me. Not only because it was well written, but because it was written by an actual kid, still in school. I know, GASP, who would have thought!

The winner is TRYSTAN K.

Here is an exerpt from that story:

I gripped the 2 handles. I clenched my teeth and got ready to run on it, a feat I had never before accomplished. I took a few running steps and was surprised at how incredibly fast the tube was spinning. Not knowing that if I went faster, the tube would also, I sped up. It went faster. So did I. Apparently I was clueless when it came to what happened. I couldn’t understand that faster equals faster. So I ran and ran and ran and sped up. Then, tired and wanting to take a break, I stopped running and let go of the handles. Unfortunately the speedy motion of my legs pushing the wheel was still going so I flew 3 feet in the air and landed with my face smacking into the woodchips. Now, woodchips aren’t soft as cotton. No, they’re sharp and rough and seriously hurt when you get a mouthful of them. Compare ultra-pain at the playground to learning how to add in the classroom. I would prefer the latter. Crying for 10 minutes is not the funnest thing to do. . .
I have had more experiences including falling off a pole, almost breaking my arms by twisting them around on the monkey bars, tripping off a “rock” tower, and many other things. In contrast in class with the teacher you can do far funner and less painful things. Once in my class we made triangle designs and named them. No one knew they were learning because of they were having so much fun. I DON’T SEE WHY ANYONE WOULD LIKE RECESS AFTER HAVING TO ENDURE MY HORRIFIC, PAIN INFLICTING EXPERIENCES. CLASSTIME RULES, RECESS SUCKS.

Well said Trystan! I totally agree. If you were in my class, you would get an A+ in writing for the rest of the year. To redeem your prize, simply email me your address at rightwomenwrite@gmail.com and I will send you the gift certificate.


Friday, May 14, 2010

Summer of ME!

In the last couple of week, I have been stalking blogs like a blogophile. I found this really fun BLOG HOP BONANZA at the blog: Cheap Therapy. (link below)
Basically, the goal is to be as SELF CENTERED as possible, by focusing on what you specifically want to accomplish by the end of this summer. It's a mini-bucket list idea. Which I LOVE!
So here is my list of things I want to accomplish to make this summer all about ME. :-)
1. Finish the major revisions on my Deception Virus manuscript and send it to the agent who has requested it.
2. Start a brand spanking new relationship with a fresh manuscript. (Or start a new book)
3. Play with my friends at least once a week. I finally have friends for the first time in years and I just love spending time with them. Now I have to do it because I put it on this list. Yay Me!
4. Keep up my Sparkle Toes and get pedicures when I actually need it. I want my toes to be cute at the pool.
5. Get a natural looking spray tan and have a professional photo of myself taken. Something delicious to put on the back cover of my book when it gets published. :-)
6. Go to the gym again after four years of absence. I want to learn kick boxing I think and then make my arms look cute. My arms are my least favorite part of my body. Too flabby.
7. Read a little bit every day while I make my kids read.
That's it. I don't want to make myself too perfect. There has to be something left to accomplish in the fall.
Now YOU! Go again. Make this the 'Summer of Me'. Follow the link, sign up, and post.

"What Writers Read": Books, Books, Books

I met this amazing author: Elana Johnson at the LDStorymakes conference. She is fun and brilliant at writing queries.
She and a couple of friends are starting a new amazing blog that links all the book review blogs out there.
So check it out! You won't be disappointed.
"What Writers Read": Books, Books, Books

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Wokka Wokka Wokka...And other such nonsense.

I am blessed to hang out twice a month with a group of friends I like to call The Maple Mountain Writers Guild. (Really I don't like to call them that--it's just our official title). A week or so ago, someone from this group blogged about how everyone in the world could be compared to a Winnie the Pooh character. It's amazing, and she was totally right! However, I'm not a Pooh Bear kind of person. The Muppets are so much more my style. So I started thinking . . . which muppets character would each person in our group be? Here is my list, in no particular order.

Me: Statler and Waldorf
For those who don't know, Statler and Waldorf are the two old men who sit in the balcony of the Muppet Show and basically rip on everyone and everything in site. Their sarcasm and use of puns is unparalleled. Though I try to be positive and uplifting, my brain just sees the world through sarcasm glasses. Plus, I laugh at my own jokes. I might as well get myself box seats at our next group meeting.

Lois: Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Like Dr. Honeydew, Lois is our resident researcher. She is fact driven and very good at looking at things in a logical way. Keep her up late at night though, and Lois is an entirely different person; wild, crazy, and hilarious. After midnight, a Mad Scientists bursts out. She hasn't blown us all up yet, but just knowing she has the power and smarts to, makes me a little scared. :-)

Amy: Scooter
Scooter is the stage hand who keeps all the muppets grounded. When we want to get off-track or a little crude (little being the operative word), Amy makes sure we remember who we are and why we do what we do. When other muppet characters start busting up the place, Scooter is the one that sets it all right again. That's what Amy does for us.

Tahsha: Miss Piggy
I know she is going to kill me for this one...but let me explain. I've never told anyone this, but I always wanted to be Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy is fashionable and commands attention. She is equal parts spunky and dramatic. No one takes the stage like Miss Piggy. That is our Tahsha. Fun, Hilarious, and totally beautiful. Also able to eat large amounts of food and remain toothpick thin. I just wish I could get her to use the word 'moi' more.

Ted: Gonzo
I chose this character as Ted for one reason only. Gonzo is all about the Chicks. He keeps hourds of them around and they all worship him and would do anything for him. Gonzo knows how to put on a show and sport a pimp-daddy hat. Yet there is something about him that is a little crazy and lovable. The funny thing is that Ted is the oldest member of our group--and also the most girl crazy. Go figure.

Reana: Janice
In case you're wondering, Janice is one of the few female characters on the muppets. She's the rocking guitar player in the Muppet Band. Part gypsy, part musician, part cool cat, Janice is the person you'd want to hang out with in a Jazz Club drinking Margaritas. Reana is just as cool as all that. And, like Janice, an air of mystery surrounds her.

Jo: Mixture of Rowlf the Dog and Animal
Depending on the time of night and the day of the week, you could get either one of these with Jo. Rowlf the Dog is the one all the muppets go to for advice and a listening ear, yet he is so talented, he can play pretty much anything. That's Jo. Totally talented literaturally (I just made up a new word), yet takes the roll of resident psychologist. However, get her going, and Jo can be a real animal. There's no stopping her at two in the morning.

James: Fozzie
Fozzie is the resident comedian. Sometimes his jokes are funny. He likes playing practical jokes on other muppets (though it doesn't usually work). But he is always lovable. When in a pinch, Fozzie can take the stage and tell jokes to his hearts delight. That is James. You aren't sure whether to pat his head, or throw a rotten tomato at him. Either way, the muppets, and writer's group, wouldn't be the same without him. Wokka, Wokka, Wokka

Jen: Kermit the Frog
Who doesn't love Kermit the Frog? You could ask any person on the planet what they think about Kermit and I don't think anyone would say, "Blegh, that green guy?" They would say 'I love him'. Jen is just as lovable. Yet what would the muppets be without Kermit? That's right. There would be no muppets. Jen pulls us together, sets us on track and does it all with a laugh and smile. It's disgusting (that's the Statler and Waldorf in me coming out).

I would say come and join the fun one day. It's as close to the Muppet Circus as you'll ever get. But. Alas for You. We are exclusive and snobbish and altogether too great for words. That is, if they let me come back after this merciless blog post.


Monday, May 10, 2010

The B-Day/M-Day Combo

It was by birthday yesterday. Yes, on Mother's Day.

Now most people would not know this about me, but I am a major Birthday Diva. What can I say? I love having a day that celebrates the fact that "I" am on the earth. A day all about me? Well, heck ya...bring on the worshiping of moi. I'm worthy of celebrating. (More people should develop this philosophy if you ask me.)

ANYWAY...my big day was upstaged this year by none other than Mother's Day. WHAT! All mothers can not steal a day that is meant for having a fiesta over me. It is so wrong on so many levels.

Level number one: Laying Around Like a Slug. This year I only got ONE day to be a lazy, good-for-nothing. Most years I can milk it for my birthday and Mother's Day. Not this year. Therefore, I tried my hardest to be as lazy as possible yesterday, but still didn't feel that I achieved the true laziness that could come from two days of playing video games and sleeping on the couch. Or in other words...being a man. It's so not right.

Level number two: More gifts. Need I say more? I could usually make a haul on both days, but this year didn't receive the amount deemed worthy of a double celebration day. Okay, this is only partly true. I FELT spoiled until my younger sister came over and told me everything she had received for Mother's Day. Her gifts upstaged mine. YES...I am bitter about it. Now I don't even get the extra day to make up for it.

Level number three: The Facebook Thunder steal. Everyone got to get on their facebook pages and say "Thanks Honey, for the awesome mother's day! It was the best!" And I did too. BUT they will also get to brag one more day about their Birthdays...and I won't. Isn't Facebook solely for bragging about how your kids/husband/car/bad weather/school degree is better than everyone else's? Yeah, I thought so too. Now my extra bragging day is totally ruined.

See...even my own daughter is trying to steal my birthday thunder by blowing out MY candles. SO wrong!

There you have it. My rant over only getting one day for me is over...until of course, my birthday falls on Mother's Day again. I guess I'll go cry in my left over cake with buttercream frosting. (Man, I totally forgot to complain how everyone got breakfast in bed, and not just me. I guess I'll save it for a later posting.) So HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY you BIRTHDAY STEALING freaks! :-) Hahaha...

P.S. Don't comment how you are worse off than I am, because I will never believe you. ;-0 And I do hope you realize how sarcastic I'm being with all this--except of course the day of celebrating me, that's all real baby.


Happy Writing.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Ridiculous Recess--OR--My First Contest!

Does this look fun to you?
I've been a school teacher for ten years now. TEN YEARS of grueling lesson plans, working my fingers to the bone to make learning fun and exciting for every child. At the end of each year I have my students fill out a little questionaire. One of the questions says, "What was your favorite part of fifth grade?" Can you guess what the answer is 99.9% of the time? That's right--RECESS--the one part of school I have nothing to do with.
I honestly don't get this. Maybe it's just me, but everything bad happens at recess. Think about it. When you had a fight with your friends, where did it usually start? That's right, recess. If you ever broke your arm, had to get stitches, or got in a fist fight, it most likely happened when? At recess. The school bully beating you to a pulp? You get the idea.
A couple of years ago, my students were playing tag on the playground equipment (this was actually banned from the school, but I pretended I didn't know they were doing it). Sure enough, about ten minutes in, a group of kids comes running over.

"Mrs. J, Mrs. J, Erin's hurt." I run over as fast as I can (which for me, is a slow jog) and Erin is laying in the wood chips, hand over his forehead.
"What's up?" I ask. (Cause, you know, I'm sensitive like that.)
"I got hurt."
"Really? Huh, let me see."
Erin, pulls his hand away to reveal the largest goose egg I've ever seen. I suddenly understood how, when cartoon people get hit over the head, they get this lump that rises six inches off their head. That is exactly what this looked liked.
"Okay," I try to act casual. "So that's a large lump." (We were working on alliteration in writing that day. See what a great teacher I am to work it into the conversation. One of the students pointed it out to me later.)
"Yeah," he agrees. "I can feel it."
"What do you say we go to the office and call your mom." I can't stop staring. "That thing is huge."
"Yeah," he says again. "I can feel it."
So I take Erin to the office, he calls his mom, gets in trouble because he wasn't supposed to be playing at recess that day because he was sick, but he conveniently forgot to give me the note, and got grounded for a week. Add the concussion (yes, he did have one) and the kid had a pretty rotten week. In his defense, he didn't rat-out our class for playing tag on the playground equipment, so I have to give him credit for that.
However, at the end of the school year that year, can you guess what Erin said what his favorite part of fifth grade? That's right--RECESS!

What does this have to do with the contest? EVERYTHING. My goal is to convince the students I work with that I am waaaaaaay cooler than recess. But I need your help.
I need you to submit the worst recess event that you were ever a part of.

THE RULES: (This is a writing contest, so great writing will be taken into account)

1) You have to become a follower of my blog. Yes, I know, I'm forcing you to be a 'Disciple of Me'.

2) Write your own blog entry on the 'Worst Recess Ever'. It can be funny. It can be horrifying. It can be sad. But above all else--it must prove that RECESS SUCKS! In your post, mention my contest and link it to my site.
*If you don't happen to have a blog, you can email me your entry at:

3) Make a comment on this post, so we can link over to your site and laugh, cry, gasp right along with you.

That's it!
You are probably asking yourself, "SO WHAT DO I WIN?"
Well, certainly not a free ticket for fifteen extra minutes of recess (Believe it or not, children in school would sell their soul for one of those).
You will win...

A FIFTEEN DOLLAR GIFT CARD to either Barnes and Noble or Amazon.com. Wow, that seemed almost anti-climatic, but I'm telling you...that is at least two paperbacks from your 'Need To Read' list or a Newly Released DVD starring Channing Tatum (which is priceless).

So spread the word...Facebook, Twitter, Blog...heck...shout it from your rooftop. I'm excited to hear the horrible things you come up with! Is it just me, or does this kid look like he's contemplating suicide off the playground equipment. STOP THE MADNESS!

*Contest will be open until Monday, May 10th @ midnight.