What I've Written About

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Opinionated?. . . Me?. . . Never.

My husband often tells me I'm opinionated. Shaw right. I AM NOT OPINIONATED . How dare he belittle my true gift? There isn't even a category large enough. I guess the only way I would describe it is as ULTRAOpinionated. Or Opinionated to the eighth degree.

I recognize it in myself. HOWEVER...


Why should we not have an opinion about things? Isn't it our right as people in the human race to think whatever we want about the goings on of the world? Do people honestly see news stories, weird behaviors, or get treated a certain way and NOT think SOMETHING about that? This is why, when I saw MamaKat's latest writing prompt 'Go to the Today Show website and write an opinion article about one of the news stories' I jumped on it.


But just one?


Not Me.


Never.


Instead, I'm going to spout my opinions about as many of those news articles as possible. Sound Fun? For me...well...yes.


I can not miss such a golden opportunity.


SO. ARE YOU READY? Good.


Here Goes. . .


BRISTOL WILL WEAR CAROLINA HERRERA; CAMO FOR LEVI AND TRIPP.
Who cares? Bristol is a nobody redneck from the back country of Alaska. She's only famous because her mom ran for Vice President. The man she's marrying is a pin-up model. They fight all the time. The poor baby has to be involved. One month after they marry there will be another news headline on the Today website talking about their divorce. Seriously. This was the top headline of the page. The only thing that interested me was that her plan was to have her husband-to-be wear camouflage. Maybe she's hoping he'll blend into the background, masking the fact that she is making a HUGE mistake.


DO MEN HAVE A BIOLOGICAL CLOCK TOO?
One word. NO. The end.


DICK CHENEY 'DOING WELL' AFTER LIFE-SAVING SURGERY
Honestly. Who is Dick Cheney? Isn't he that Vice President who shot someone? Why does anyone who doesn't really know him need to know this? I know I breathed a sigh of relief when I read this...NOT. I didn't even know he was having surgery. And frankly, since I am not a member of his immediate family or his best friend, it's none of my business. Case closed.


'BLISS REMEMBERED' RECALLING LOVE IN A TIME OF WAR; Frank Defords new novel...blah blah blah
My only opinion on this? I hope that when my book is published there will eventually be a news story about me in the Today Show Headlines. I really could care less that Frank Deford is a sportswriter and now he's written a book that is totally different from what he usually writes. Good for him.


RECOVER FROM THE HEALTH SINS OF YOUR YOUTH
This actually interested me. I watched the whole video segment. How disappointing. Until they can tell me how to recover from stretch marks and sagging "girls" without major surgery I might want to listen.


MATCHMAKER MOM FIELDS DATES FOR SON ON TODAY
Okay...Bwahaahahahahaaa. Sorry. Had to let that out. All I have to say is "good luck, dude." As if your mom trying to find a date for you isn't bad enough, let's publicize it. Does he know what this is telling the female population? Well I'll tell you. 'I'm such a loser that even my mom can't stand me. She can't stand me enough that she is actually pleading with people to get me away from her.' Sad. Really Sad. But you want to know what is MORE sad? That girls actually took up the offer. Come on women. Be strong. You don't want a relationship with a man who has 'mommy issues'. Trust me on this one. That woman sounds like a meddling mother-in-law waiting to happen. Run away. Far Far Away. There is no happily ever after with this. :-)


THE MEL GIBSON TAPES
Oy. What the? Who the? Holy crap. May I just say 'Why Mel? Why?' How come you couldn't have just stayed the hot hollywood celebrity you used to be? You are officially a freak. Which brings another question to my mind. Why does anyone want to be a hollywood celebrity? It seems like, if you stay there long enough, hollywood destroys you. You know, I was talking to my friend the other day about how I wish I were young because there are so many cute, young actors out there right now. And I realized something. Those cute, young actors (the Taylor Lautners, Nick Jonases, and Zac Effrons of the world) are Mel Gibson and Brad Pitts waiting to happen. I truly think something in the 'being famous' water destroys your insides. And I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that you can't even pee without someone asking for your autograph. You can't have a breakup without everyone in the world spouting their opinion about it. You can't have open-heart surgery without it making a headline. So if you want to be famous...good luck to you. Oh, and Mel? You are an a**.


DOZENS FEARED DEAD IN CHINA LANDSLIDES
And finally, All The Way At The Bottom Of The Page, is a true news story. This is sad. It is tragic. For the people who live there, it is life-altering. AND It is buried at the bottom of a news page about crazy celebrities, redneck weddings, famous surgeries, and meddling moms.


This is the problem with America, people. Fame, fortune, money, power, and politics are more important than people. Than caring about the lives of others world-wide. Wow. I didn't realize this was going to turn into a spouting of the problems in the world.


So, I'll clear my throat. Shut up. And go back to listening to Mel Gibson rant like the raving lunatic he his.


Man, I really wish I would have stuck with my original post about the Awkward pet photos...
The caption that came with this was, 'If you love your hen, don't be afraid to shout it from the haystacks'.
Yep, definitely should have stuck with the pet photos. :-)
Over and Out.
Hook up at MamaKats.


Mama's Losin' It

10 comments:

Kristina P. said...

This made me realize I haven't checked out TMZ in a while. :)

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Heh. SO funny. Thanks for the opinions. You are a regular Jon Stewart. Or maybe Joel McHale. But either way, Bravo!

Lois D. Brown said...

Please, just please, don't tell me that is a picture of you when you were young. :-)

CoffeeJitters (Judy Haley) said...

It makes me mad that in American media, the real news gets buried under the Palin and mommy-matchmaker nonsense. We really have a skewed sense of priorities.

Jenny said...

I don't keep up with any of this stuff - I like to live in my little bubble I call Jenny-land ;-)

James Lewis said...

I only wish you would share your opinions. Stop holding back, it's not healthy.

Lia Sunny said...

It's true, we never hear about the real news, at least not before all the other crap. Sad.

The Urban Cowboy said...

Oh this was truly hilarious! And WTF is up with Mel Gibson? He sounds like a total freak in those tapes...you are so right about our priorities misplaced. The news stations played those Mel tapes for days.

Patricia A. Timms said...

I'm dying! This was sooo funny! You need to have your own TMZ. Please tell me that your WIP uses this kind of humor.

(I feel embarassed when I think back on how in love with Mel Gibson I was in the 80's)

I'm having a hard time shaking the image of the kid with his farm animal. That one's gonna stick with me for awhile. ;)

Jo Schaffer said...

Love your opinions!! Let them ring!
And the awkward pet thing...uhhhh...ew. Haha!