Mama Kat's Writers Workshop - Before I Was a Mom. . .
I have beautiful children. They are perfect, wonderful, superb, amazing...okay, so I'm kind of lying. They are not always angelic. All right, they are seldom angelic. Because of this, there are many things I do now that would make people question my sanity on many levels. I didn't do these things before I had children.
BUT I do them now.
THE UNFINISHED SENTENCE
Before I had children, I used to have phone conversations. They went something like this.
"Hey, How are you doing?"
"I'm doing fine. You know I was pondering the creation of the universe yesterday and concluded...yada yada yada" (Sure. That's what I said. I'm philosophical like that. Haha)
Since I've had children, the phone conversation goes more like this
"Hi--AJ put that down. No! Put that down."
"Margie is that you? Are you doing okay?"
"I'm great. I'm doing fine. You know, I was pondering--Micks I said you couldn't go to your friend's house. No it's not a discussion. I said No!...oh, and how are you?"
You see what I'm saying. Right? I don't think I've had an uninterrupted phone call for eleven years (the age of my oldest child)
GROCERY STORE GRAND PRE
I don't just shop anymore. Nope. Never. A trip to the grocery store--at least for me--involves snatching, manuevering, and swatting hands. This means, I come to the cereal isle. I take a deep breath. I scope out the box of Special K I need and make my plan. Then I take off in a quick run/walk. Grab the box I need in drive-by mode. Say "No" to the Lucky Charms, CocoPuffs, Fruit Loops, Cookie Crisp, Disney Cars (yes, they are even capitolizing on the cereal market now), Sugar Wheels, etc. etc. and make it to the end of the isle.
Before I had children, I compared prices. Now I make my list and make a run for it. It's the only hope if I'm not to leave with a grocery cart full of chocolate chip cookies and Trix Yogurt.
Growing up, I never wanted to have any children. I wasn't a "babysitter". I never asked to "hold other peoples babies" at church. My experience with kids was more along the lines of screaming infants in the line at the store and children begging for cookies at the bakery.
I would eat at McDonalds or Carls Jr. in the 'Grown-up' section and look at the mothers eating in the play area with disgust. To me, a McDonald's Playland was just a colorful, more germ-ridden version of Hell.
NOW? I eat there all the time. Granted I keep the hand santizer on ready-pump, but I found out that it won't kill you to eat food next to little kids in bare feet. At this point, I can even ignore the ear-splitting squeels of laughing children and enjoy my burger and fries. :-)
ITS NOT ALL BAD...I'm not kidding. There are many things that I can do now--as a mom--that I couldn't do before.
1. Be excited to go to Toy Story 3. If I didn't have kids, this would be weird. Since I have them, I can BE excited. It's allowed.
2. Skip through Disneyland. Let's face it. I want to anyway. Now I can pretend it's for them.
3.Jump on the trampoline. If I didn't have kids, I'd have no excuse for having one of these. Let alone, jumping on it.
4. Play video games. I have a love affair with Mario. Since I have a pre-teen son, this is okay. It even makes me a cool mom.
5. Collect all the toys I didn't get when I was a child. For instance, I wanted all the Strawberry Shortcake dolls when I was little and didn't get them. NOW...as a parent... I can buy them for myself and say they are for my daughter. (isn't that win-win?)
Overall, I have to say that I have NEVER--In My Whole Life--regretted becoming a parent. Sure there are ups and downs. Downs being staying awake all-night-long with a barfing child. Ups being hugs and my kids saying "You're the best mom in the whole world" (right before they ask me for something).
Before I was a mom...I was selfish. I didn't understand true love. I didn't know who I was.
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I am a YA author represented by Jo Schaffer of GH Literary Management. I love reading and writing and will stay up into the wee hours of the morning to finish a book I think is amazing. I also work as an Instructional Coach for Nebo School District and am a wife and mother of three. Welcome to my crazy life!