One of the prompts for writer's workshop this week was..."Tell us about a childhood fear you have taken into adulthood."
At first, I wanted to be all BRAVE and act like I have no fears, but that wouldn't be true. I'm afraid of lots of things.
HornetsSpidersDust MitesBed Bugs
LiceHaving my skirt tucked into my undies
Swearing in front of people I shouldn't swear in front of
Running into an EX-BoyfriendHaving to admit I'm wrong
Falling off a cliffSushiBoogers on little kids fingers...
You get the idea.
HOWEVER. There is one thing I've never admitted before that is completely true.
I still feel like there are monsters in my closet.
I can not sleep with my closet door open. It freaks me out. BIG TIME. Every time I have ever neglected to close it, I wake up in the middle of the night and feel like someone or something is watching from that darker spot in the corner of my room. Several times, I have believed it so much and have been so certain of it, I have to roll out of my bed and crawl (commando-style) over to flip on the light. As soon as the light is on, the thing standing in the open doorway disappears, but it still makes me have a cardiac arrest.
The problem with this is that my husband isn't bothered by the closet--as any rational adult would be--and so he always leaves it open a crack. He'll get up to put something away in his side and leave the door open. I don't dare tell him to close it because I'm scared out of my mind that a boogeyman is going to get me, so I always have to invent some excuse for getting up and then discreetly closing the door. I think he's getting suspicious, but he never says anything.
Now don't get me wrong. I don't believe in ghosts. I DON'T. When it comes to those kinds of things, I always just say "I choose not to believe."
But I swear. I have a boogeyman in my closet.
And it's making me feel like a hypocrit when I tell my kids that there is nothing in the dark that isn't there in the daylight.
And I hate that some nights I still have to hide under the covers.
And I want to pretend like I'm all courageous and tough.
When really. I'm still just a little kid. Afraid of monsters in my closet.
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